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In both Eastern and Western traditions, burning or discarding certain personal items of the d3ad is a way to symbolically announce their spirit. The pillow is especially sensitive because of its intimate connection to the mind and soul. Some cultures suggest burning it within 49 days of the person’s d3ath, during the spiritual “transition period,” when the soul is considered to be finding its path forward.
Even if you’re not deeply spiritual, letting go of such items can help on a psychological level. It’s a clear act of release. You’re telling yourself and the universe, “They’ve moved on, and so must I.”
What If Burning Isn’t Possible?
If you live in an apartment or can’t burn items for practical reasons, consider an alternative ritual:
- Wrap the pillow in white cloth (a color symbolizing peace).
- Say a prayer or words of release, thanking the person for their time with you.
- Dispose of it respectfully, either by burying it or discarding it away from your home.
The goal is not destruction but separation—a peaceful way to let the spirit rest and allow the living to begin healing.
What Not to Do
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